From the Pages of Beerman’s Journal
Three years ago, dear readers, after a horrific day at the office I attempted to write a poem worthy of a Pulitzer in Poetry. You could call it an epic fail, but I was able to write the work of abstract art below. Please read it with glee, and I hope you laugh so much you need to pee. (Just an example of what’s to come.)
I was sitting at my desk one Monday,
I knew this would not be a fun day.
How can I make my dreams come true?
Just want to brew craft beer for all of you.
First step to make the dream come true
Is to Brew Brew Brew.
Time to fine tune my craft
By making you a fine, tall draft.
Oh, to make my desk become a cask,
Is this really too much to ask?
Hops, barley, and wort
Would become my new TPS reports.
As I sit and dream
I need a scheme…
Got to find a way
To take these office blues away.
To be a brewer, I would become a doer.
I shall proclaim, with no shame,
I BREW CRAFT BEER my dear,
That is my game!
To hear the crack of the grains, the smell of the hops.
Shall I brew a porter, stout, or ale?
I would do it all without fail.
Oh please tell me this tale
Will end with me achieving my Brewery Holy Grail!
Porters, Ales, Lagers,
Bitters, Wheats, Stouts…
That is what it’s all about.
ABV, IBU, AAU,
All I want to do is calculate you.
Oh Lord, if this is meant to be,
Could you please advise me?
Is there hope that little ole’ me
Will someday be as happy as yeast
Eating its sugary feast?
All I want to do
Is brew craft beer for all of you…
Share a passion for suds
With all of my buds.
I sit at my desk dreaming of brews
Until my boss shouts my TSP report is past due.
Reality becomes a must,
Oh, I wish it were “Brewery or Bust”!
I yearn to run away
And return to the place where brewery dreams linger.
Return to that dream that is a true humdinger.
It’s all about leaving the staples, paperclips, and reports behind with a flick of a finger.
I shall work toward the dream of a little place we’ll call the LRB…
I could be brewing up good times with all of thee.
Friends, family, and beer,
We would do nothing but cheer!
If my dream of brewing for you
Does not come true,
There’s just one thing left for me to do…
Walk down to the river and sing
The Brew Street Blues.
Until we meet again dear readers…